Your comments

Genius! Of course. Good guess. The panel the text lives in was too small. Thanks, Ian!
Good call! I put the alert within the if statement, just before the < assign> action. It returns -4 in the alert box, but doesn't write anything to object:ANSWER.text. So there's still an issue but it's not the < if> action's fault. Weird.
Hmm... that didn't work either. I tried [param:image/url] and [param:img/url]. The < img> tag that comes before the tag in the feed is never closed. So I tried downloading the XML file locally, deleting the < img> tags, uploading it to my app files, and setting it as my datasource value as a relative link. But that didn't seem to work either.

Do I have any options to force it to pull from the right place with parsenamespaces="no"?
Ah, good to know.

Ok, awesome. Thanks for the help!